Thursday, July 13, 2006

Fear of the unknown

I've definitely been feeling a little more human the past couple days, so I hope that keeps up. I'm still nauseated pretty constantly and I'm exhausted beyond words, but I'll still count that as a victory for now.

So now that I've made it to this point and have gotten past all of the major mental blocks, I've started to allow myself to think ahead a little, something that was strictly forbidden previously. And as I look to the future and try to picture what life will be like in another seven months, I find myself quite scared of the unknown. Will I be a good mom? Will I know what to do when the baby cries? What's it like to spend the night in a hospital (I've never had to before)? What if I have to have a c-section (I've never had surgery before, aside from oral surgery)? What if I'm horrible at changing diapers (I've never changed a diaper before)? What if the IV bothers me excessively during labor (I'm not so good with needles)?

The fear of the unknown is sometimes paralyzing. I often have to put those thoughts aside when I become overwhelmed by them, but at some point I'm going to have to have an answer for all of those questions and concerns. I just hope I have the right answers.


At July 14, 2006 7:53 AM, Blogger serenity said...

As with everything, best you can do is take things a day at a time. You are going to be a wonderful mother - this baby is so very loved, even before you even conceived her! - and you'll learn everything you need to in order to be a good parent. I promise.

At July 14, 2006 2:06 PM, Blogger Alli said...

You will be astounded at how fast you learn what to do. When we were leaving the hospital w/our oldest, DH and I were laughing because we couldn't believe they were just letting us take him when we had no idea what to do! LOL. You will be wonderful!

At July 27, 2006 2:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too have an all-consuming fear of needles (passed out once at Riley Hospital for Children while Kaitlinn was getting a draw). Let me just tell you that the needle from the IV will be the LAST of your concerns!


Post a Comment

<< Home