Just call me Mrs. Doubt
We've been pretty set on our name choices, especially for a girl, for quite a while. The girl name is classic and timeless, not trendy or weird, and we've been 100% settled on it for several years now.
However, I've been having some minor doubts ever since we found out it was a girl.
It's hard to explain without going into specifics, but the girl name we chose has an element of it that's from my family, then the other part is just something we liked and sounds good with the other name, but has no significance. I've recently started thinking of ways to incorporate a name from The Husband's side of the family; that's the only way I'd change the name, to include his side in it also. I especially had the desire to change things up a bit after my father-in-law recently sent us a pretty complete list of girl names from that side of the family. (Unfortunately, there are too many Berthas and Hildas in that list for my taste.) I know it would thrill him to pieces if we included one of their family names somehow.
But, I know it's our kid. And, I'm the one who gave up my last name when I got married, so maybe it really is fair that we use a name from only my side. It's not that I'm feeling pressure from anyone to use names from both sides; it's that I'm trying to find a way on my own to make this possible. But it's also frustrating when every suggestion I've made has been immediately vetoed by The Husband for one reason or another, usually "I hate that name" with a sour face to go along with it. It's probably best that he's staying firm on this and not letting me change things, but it kind of hurts my feelings when I feel like he won't even take new possibilities into consideration and at least amuse me into thinking a change might happen. (He reads this blog, by the way, so no mean comments about him!)
And here's the funny thing: I'm still very happy with our original name choice. I think I'm starting to have these doubts because I want to make absolute sure that we want to go with that...that there's not something else better out there. It's just frustrating to go from 100% certainty to this nagging doubt that I didn't think would overcome me. I almost wish we could go ahead and fill out the paperwork to make it final today!
posted by DMB @ 1:05 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Actually when you register at the hospital you can do an advance on the birth certificate and have her name already drawn up on the papers. Then it is set, and you could quit fretting over it. We didn't do that because we couldn't decide on a name that we both liked until we were speeding down the interstate trying not to have a kid on the side of the road.
Tim and I neither one could agree on names for both of our children. The only thing Tim wanted was for his son to have his middle name (Michael, nice name, I LOVE it, but his dad is also named Michael so that was out for a first name for us). I wanted Jacob and Tim wanted Joshua, not JOSH, JOSHUA. I told him that was nearly impossible to not shorten it. I didn't want any family names or Jrs. I didn't want to upset either side of the family so we decided on a name noone else in the family had. So Austin it was. Come to find out, Tim has a cousin in Colorado that he's never met that had a son a couple months before we did and named him Austin Michael also. HOW WEIRD!!! We met them once and it was so confusing, "Austin come here! No not you, the other one!" Thank goodness they live far away that would be too confusing on a daily basis.
As far as Ashlyn's name went. I wanted Brooke or Lindsay. Tim wanted Jocelyn. I always loved my names I picked but Tim said Brooke made him feel like he had to go pee and he worked with a girl names Lindsay. So shot down was I again. I had always known that I wanted my daughter's middle name to be Riley since that is my maiden name. But low and behold my sister-in-law adopted a dog about 6 months before we had Ashlyn and she named her DOG RILEY. I was sooooooo incredibly pissed. My mother-in-law laid into her, she was mad too. So again, no Riley for me. I didn't want Ashlyn growing up thinking she was named for a dog. So we decided on Kendall. I really wish that was her first name now, people get so confused with AshLYN. They always call her Ashley. And I know when she starts school it's going to be a problem, she's so shy she won't correct anyone. Oh well, if I had to do it all over again I would change her name. That's why I just call her Sissy now.
Didn't mean to write a book I just didn't want you to think you were alone about being on the fence about a name. Good luck to you, I'm sure whatever name you pick will be great, go with your first instinct.
XOXO,
Beth
I have known for years what i wanted to name a daughter if I ever had one. I have always liked the name Kaitlinn, and spelled just like that, though I can't give you a rational explanation as to why.
Just before my grandfather passed away, he asked me to use the name Elizabeth in a girl's name as it was his favorite. It is a way for me to remember him and for my daughter to remember him, even though she was born after he passed.
I changed my mind about the first name probably a hundred times, ditching most of them because there are so many cousins on her dad's side that most of the "good" names are already taken! I eventually settled on my first choice and I am glad I did. It fits her to a tee. I cannot imagine her being named anything else, but it is a pain in the tush to spell correctly and there is NOTHING out there in those prepackaged "personalized" stuff that has her name spelled correctly. And, her doctor's office still spells it wrong and she is 8!
I agree with Beth, go with your first instinct. It is usually the most satisfying! Don't pick something trendy or hard to spell (take it from someone who knows!) Whatever you pick, it will be perfect!
And, sorry about the book here too!
Nanci
I mistakenly told my mother that we were considering naming our daughter after my father's mother (Emma). She was beyond excited and knew my father would be thrilled as well. Obviously, we didn't do that and chose a very untraditional name for a girl and gave her a male middle name (after my husband). We liked it because it was different; though, all the names we were considering were "different". Avery was almost "Devon" or "Shea".
As mentioned before, follow your instincts. You'll know what name is right for you and who knows, once you see her all bundled up at the hospital, it might strike you to call her something else.
I wonder if the reason why you're "doubting" the name you chose is because it's almost too easy? Because now that you're looking at actually using it, you want to make sure that you're putting in the work to make it the "right" name.
I feel like, if I can ever get to that point, that's what I'd do too. J and I have names picked already. But I feel like I'd want to do the same thing as you- re-examine what we chose and make SURE that it's the very best name.
Maybe that's what you need to tell the hubby - that you just want to think about other options just to see if there isn't anything else that you both like better.
Good luck! :)
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