Saturday, August 12, 2006

Journey vs. destination

When we became engaged, I didn't look forward to planning the wedding because for me getting married was way more about that one day. Yes, it would be a special day, but I was looking forward to a strong, loving marriage, and I had no desire to agonize over such things as cocktail napkin fonts, seating charts, and hair and makeup appointments. As a result, we had a relatively short engagement--less than seven months, though it would have been shorter if we could have realistically gotten married before July--and we had a very small, intimate wedding and reception that, while still a lot of work because we did everything ourselves, reflected the fact that we saw no reason to blow the budget on that one day and instead look forward to our marriage. That was what it was about to both of us--the marriage.

I find the same to be true with pregnancy. While I feel I'm greatly blessed to be pregnant--never for a single minute do I take that for granted (not even during the tough days)--I still can't help but feel like the whole goal here wasn't to be pregnant, but to enjoy the sweet bundle of joy at the end. My eye is on the prize, and pregnancy is something I feel I must endure and wait out before I can get there. I'm trying to enjoy pregnancy as much as possible, especially now that I'm feeling mostly better for now, but I can't help but wonder if I'd be just as happy if babies really were delivered by storks; it wouldn't make him/her any less my child. The bottom line is that it's the baby and the family created by it that matter the most, at least in my view.


At August 12, 2006 3:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And oh it is worth the wait! You will be amazed how "complete" everything feels. You have a great husband, a beautiful house, loving animals and now this missing piece will soon be in place. It is truly the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

At August 14, 2006 2:58 PM, Blogger BellaLovesPink said...

I second that emotion. While I can't wait to be a parent, I have not enjoyed pregnancy. From the moment we found out we were pregnant, I had my hands out waiting for someone to hand over our kid.

While my pregnancy has been easy (thankfully), it reaffirms that I am not one of those women who LOVE being pregnant and why we are only having one child. I've simply not enjoyed it enough to want to do it again.


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