It's just a phone call

I'm a little bit scared to call the doctor to make my first prenatal appointment. Perhaps part of it is because the last time I was there, it wasn't such good news. I don't really have good memories of that place now (not that I had look-back-with-fondness memories before then, though). Perhaps it's also because then it's like admitting that this might really happen, and I'm too scared to do that at this point. I can be in denial a little longer if I don't call. There's no real hurry to call anyway (I tell myself) because my doctor's office won't see me until eight to ten weeks, and I'm only four weeks as of today. My goal is to get the appointment set up sometime this week. Maybe tomorrow, but maybe I'll wait. We'll see.

I'm feeling pretty good physically. My boobs are pretty sore, but other than that, nothing else is out of the ordinary right now. I've got a major paranoia where I check for spotting every time I go to the bathroom, but I think that's true of most pregnant women, whether they've been through a miscarriage or not. At least, that's what I tell myself.